A friend, Sally Apokedak, Southern Breeze children's writer-turned-agent, tipped me off to this hilarious bad poetry contest. Having written my fair share of really bad poetry, I totally loved reading these.
The contest was held by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary on his blog.
There are some wonderfully bad lines, like:
your love is a mango. red, green, or yellow depending on how long I leave you.
Kimberly Buckner
My love for you fills me,
a flooded basement. Neale Werle
My chalice runs over with sour wine
A symbol of my undying love
Jeanne Doyon
Full poems from the winners are posted here.
Okay, so I had to give it a shot.
Conversion Chart for My Husband
by Doraine Bennett
My love for you
cannot be measured
by any inability to climb out of bed
at five am and run in the dark
with you.
My love for you
cannot be measured
by the six piles of laundry
lying in the bedroom
floor.
My love for you
cannot be measured
by another uncooked dinner
abandoned for the clatter
of my keyboard.
My love for you
is better than exercise,
larger than laundry, free-er
than the pizza delivery,
and all yours.
And for more Poetry Friday wonders, visit the wild and crazy Ed DeCario at Think Kid Think!
"My love for you is... larger than laundry" -- truly, a romantic statement. Thanks for the fun post, Dori. I also loved the flooded basement. Deep.
ReplyDeleteVery deep. Thanks for stopping.
DeleteHah! Not so bad a poem for a "bad poetry" attempt :D.
ReplyDeleteThe mango poem grows on you after awhile.
I was sure you would enjoy the mango, Jama!
DeleteA fun contest to enter! I like your "bad poetry". It's a fun read!
ReplyDeleteI love it when poetry makes you laugh. Thanks for reading.
DeleteThe flooded basement made me laugh...
ReplyDeleteYep. I couldn't pass on that pic.
DeleteWhat fun!
ReplyDeleteIndeed it was.
DeleteLots of fun lines here, Dori--especially like "free-re than the pizza delivery"!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Buffy. Pizza delivery has gotten downright expensive!
DeleteThey are all so fun, thanks Doraine!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it, Catherine.
DeleteAww! Love the title!
ReplyDeleteI put lots of thought into that while I was ignoring the dirty dishes and trying to get through another pile of laundry.
DeleteActually, when it comes down to important, I think you've nailed it, Doraine. Love the entries and the poems-heartfelt all!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda.
DeleteIt's not bad poetry, it's perfect.
ReplyDeleteNot sure I would go as far as perfect, but it was fun.
DeleteDori, I love your "bad poem." Think it so speaks to the realities of life! I'm going to share it with my 17-year-old, who is very disgruntled by the fact that I'm a less than terrific cook at this time of the school year, when 12 hour days are a way too frequent reality! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAfter he reads it, perhaps he'll fix dinner for you. Maybe. We can always hope.
DeleteWhat did your husband think?
ReplyDeleteHe's delighted that I wrote him a poem, even if it's a bad one!
Delete